arachnescurse

arbeekeypok asked:

Uhm... Can it be like Loaf fiction? Because I can do can ask loaf fiction! Ceciloaf and Carloaf! "Ever wonder if the world would be better off without you… ?"

arachnescurse answered:

"Carloaf! Hurry up!"
Carloaf stood up on the kitchen counter, his small nubby legs barely keeping himself upright. He was leaning against the microwave (the one used for cooking, not inter-dimensional travel) counting the seconds between the popcorn pops.
"Its almost done!" Carloaf shouted back at his loafmate. The kitchen and living room were attached, yet to a loaf they might as well have been across the house. He turned his attention back to the popping bag. Let’s see, what did his Papa say? Take it out when it’s three seconds between pops? One, two, three, four. One, two…three! Carloaf gasped as he quickly pressed the open-door button on the microwave to stop their snack from burning. Unfortunately for the young loaf he must have hit the button too hard. The door slammed open, sending Carloaf flying off the counter.
"AHHH!"
Carloaf closed his eyes, hoping not to smoosh too hard when he hit the ground, only to feel himself land on two soft hands. He opened his eyes only to stare up at a smooth, featureless face framed with straggly white hair.
"Thank you Faceless Old Woman!"
"It was nothing." The Faceless Old Woman said as she carried him into the living room. "It was literally nothing. I was simply holding my hands out as I do every day around this time. If you had not fallen I would still be there, attempting to hold on to a single moment of time. But no matter how still I am the moment shatters, unable to stand against the ever moving future. One day I shall capture a moment, and in its fragile beauty I shall see the present as it truly is. May I have some of your popcorn?"
"Sure!" Carloaf jumped from her hands and onto the couch. His loafmate Ceciloaf was already there, snuggled under their favorite blanket. The other loaf gave Carloaf a wave to come closer.
"It already started!" Ceciloaf said. "Come on!"
"I shall go prepare the popcorn." The Faceless Old Woman said as she seemingly vanished. "As it should be prepared. With a hint of nutmeg and the memory of when a movie was enough to chase away the pathetic worries of childhood."
"We’re not watching a movie! We’re watching soap operas!" Ceciloaf said as he lifted up the blanket to allow Carloaf to join him. The two loafs snuggled close to each other and shared a quick loaf-smooch.
"What did I miss?" Carloaf whispered.
"Scotty proposed to Caroline, but she refused ‘cause she found out about his evil not-City-Council-Approved Cult!"
"Ever wonder if the world would be better off without you?" Said the woman on the TV, obviously glancing off screen at cue cards."Also, we’re already married, Scotty. For like, ten years. We had a kid and everything."
"Oh my gosh!" Ceciloaf said as he squeezed Carloaf’s nub. "How dramatic!"
"Aww, it’s sad." Carloaf frowned.
"No wait, they’re kissing now!"
"Yay it’s happy again!"
Ceciloaf giggled. “Humans are weird.”
Carloaf wrapped a nubby arm around Ceciloaf. “They sure are.”
 

Anonymous asked:

for the dialogue thing: "Didn't you see what I did?!"

”Didn’t you see what I did, Bunis? I mean there is the PERFECT way to eliminate the Strexpet infection that I demonstrated just now that’s been trying to dwindle the loaf population. We just need to find the common weak spot and start bashing our book weapons from there!” Tamikaloaf explained to her vice-commander one day in the White Sand Ice Cream shop while their owners are buying their well-deserved escargot peanut butter ice cream.  

For a bunch of lovely buns, they do talk a lot about strategies.

"How about… cookie?" Bunis asked.

"Cookie? What about cookie?"

"Cookie distract Pet. Pet eat cookie. Pet too into cookie to see us. We hit Pet eating cookie." 

The buns became silent with a lot of pondering.

"That can totally work with the expired cookies that are lying around. Though that won’t make the girl scouts have any more profit. Janis tends to really hoard those for personal sales…"

"Janis fine! Expired cookies perfect to distract pets!"

"We will truly use your plan! Maybe with your plan the pets won’t stop us now!"

*hi-nub!*

asutori

distractedpainter:

  • "I just really need to have you here right now."
  • "Didn’t you see what I did?!"
  • "Oh fuck, oh FUCK."
  • "Please come get me."
  • "Where are you?!"
  • "I’m coming, just sit tight!"
  • "Look at me - just breathe, okay?"
  • "I can’t breathe!"
  • "You don’t have to stay."
  • "It’s all my…

I was baked and raised in Night Vale, so I do adapt to the town’s weather conditions of the usual drought, metallic snow, fire rains, sandstorms, and maybe the occasional surprise humidity. Mandatory government-created earthquakes, screaming entities and passing lights in the night time make up a good part of the phenomena as well.

I do wonder about where Carlos is from before he came here. He said that his place rained water a lot. Sometimes he would get floods of water. He’s a surprisingly good swimmer from it.

arbeekeypok

How Cecil eats his PB and J

  • Dynasty Carloaf: Cecil grabs two Jars. One Peanut Butter. One Jelly.
  • Dynasty Carloaf: Cecil opens Jars
  • Dynasty Carloaf: Cecil scoops a handful of Peanut Butter on one hand.
  • Dynasty Carloaf: Cecil scoops a handful of Jelly on the other
  • Dynasty Carloaf: Cecil puts his hands together.
  • Dynasty Carloaf: Cecil then slathers his face with the PB and J
  • Dynasty Carloaf: Cecil goes down on his knees as he slathers his entire face with the condiments
  • Dynasty Carloaf: Cecil yells out to the ceiling, the sky, the void
  • Dynasty Carloaf: "CLEANSE ME. CLEANSE ME FROM THE SINS OF THIS TOWN"
  • Dynasty Carloaf: All while Cecil's face is being covered by the Peanut Butter and Jelly.
  • Dynasty Carloaf: "CLEANSE. MEEEEEE."
"You are a True Loaf Warrior of the Three Steamers!"
Carloaf cosplaying as one of my favorite characters from Dynasty Warriors.

"You are a True Loaf Warrior of the Three Steamers!"

Carloaf cosplaying as one of my favorite characters from Dynasty Warriors.